I just realized that.

I read the article of Thai photographer. He explained about his life stories. That's very interesting about, how he started his career, how he thought when his needed pushed him more and more to spend more money too.

http://topicstock.pantip.com/camera/topicstock/2007/05/O5457665/O5457665.html
the upper link is his stories. sorry about it's only Thai alphabets version.

I'll tell the audiences briefly about his stories to make sure you can follow my part too. He started with SLR-light, and for the first time his cost wasn't oo high, just the necessary equipment such as camera body, lens kits. but after he played with it, he began to be collector instead of the photographer. From piece by piece, cheap lens became to expensive lens, high quality of printer, powerful of flash, the water improved-fire resistant camera bag, cleaning devices, many type of film such high ISO, infarate, lowest film that provide the elegant grain. etc. Though, he realized he spend the money much more than he should. To conclude, he told me about let's start as beginner than after a several years, you'll know you are photographer, or just like to take a photo, or you don't like it. Furthermore, you have to read it by yourself.

The end of this stories make me feel bad too. Even though, taken a photo was 1 part of my jobs and also be my hobby too. But since I came here, I hadn't many times to go out to take a photo. I wasted my time by stay home, study English, searching internet to get information. On the other hand I invariably check the prices of camera stuff. When I found the cheap one I tried to buy it. But as I told you I hadn't adequate time to take a photo. I'll change this bad habit before it 'll be my behavior. I'll go out to take a photo and keep study (unfortunately, I still working here too, hurrrrrr) but I promise to myself I'll put much more of the effort to improve every of my skill even it cost the loneliness...

Sincerely
Otto
Ps. I listed of my camera stuff to remind me how much I spend.
1. eos 5
2. eos 5 grip
3. 100mm macro f2.8
4. 24-85 f.3.5-4.5
5. 24-70 f2.8 L
6. 70-200 f2.8 L
7. Flash 580 EX
8. Flash 450 EZ
9. DSLR 350d
10. DSLR 350d Grip
11.Tripod
12. Canon AE-1 program
13. Nikon FM2
14. 2 bags of camera bag
that cost around 10,000$ and still grow up soon I'm sure that.
There isn't include some accessory such as film, memory card, Battery, cleaning device, and the essential this is TIME. I have to ask myself I wasted my time by photo, or I cough time.